what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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Why did a little boy have a black eye? Because his father is very abusive to him and his sister. They are beaten every dad after the father comes home drunk from the bar because his wife also the kids mother died in a car acciedent 1 month before this. Child abuse is not funny and neither is a dead mother.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

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Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

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Seriously, all your new jokes are shit. They are either repeats of stuff previously on the site or they are just so unfunny you'd struggle to get a sympathy laugh from your mother. Please actually take the time to think of something worth submitting or do not submit at all. We know people with no arms can't knock on doors enough now, and many things are better than the holocaust. Do something new!

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Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they aren't sentient or animate, and therefore can't decide to undertake such an activity. Even if they were sentient, they wouldn't enjoy swimming as the water would damage their electrical works.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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So this blond chick walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

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Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

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what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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