What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

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So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

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a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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What's up? Your time.

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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What's the difference between a red door and a blue door? Fat black people.

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what do asians do in asian history month, nothing, it does not exist, hahaha

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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How did the black man manage to get that 42 inch TV? He had been working a lot of overtime at work to try and treat his wife and kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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