Why is Travis so hilarious? ....Trick question hes not.

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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What color is a banana? yellow.

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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You're on fire.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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Wumbo

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So a seal walks into a club...

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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