What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

A homeless man begged and begged for a dollar to buy something. A man finally gave him his dollar. What did the hobo buy? Nothing he walked into 711 and then got shot.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

women's rights

what did the jew get for christmas? nothing Jewish people don't celebrate christmas

What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

Hey i just met you. and this is crazy. I sent you my pubes in an envelope.

Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

What do you call a Russian man who is on the moon? A cosmonaut

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

Your mom

Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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