One night, I walked into a bar. I ordered a few drinks, and left later that night.

What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

Do you play piano? No

Knock Knock who's there? ... who's there?!?!?! ... WHO'S THERE ?!?!?!? ... stupid kids.

A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

You wanna hear a joke? People that debase womens' rights.

Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

Have you seen the clown hiding from gay people at walmart?

Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

A baby seal walks into a club.

what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...