Tyler: Why'd the monkey fall out of a tree? Donnie: who's there Tyler: dude this isn't a knock knock joke...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I scream, you scream, we all scream because we're getting murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I forgot what i was gonna say

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A. That obviously depends on the size of the bathtub and each individual infant.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is worse than 3 lesbians in a telephone booth? 6 squirrels donkey punching your urethra.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross a Fish and a Duck? A Dish

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what is a mix of a bull dog and a shih tzu. a bread of dog that has a shaggy face and long hair

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man breaks into your house points a gun at your head and proceeds to fire a blank... The man stares at your for another minute before jumping back out of the window he crawled in from and sitting on the curb outside your house rethinking his life choices.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A 14 year girl enjoys exploring the sexual regions of her body, whilst having one of her intimate sessions her brother walks into her room. Her brother was a rather sexual 17 year old, who has had sex with several different girls, and is not afraid to try new things. the brother says " get a room to his sister... oh wait" and walks out

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When is a clown happy? At a child's birthday party.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A priest and a rabii walk into a bar. Both men, despite both being good people and well respected in their communities, aren't able to overcome their differences which are signified by their religions. Both men later leave the bar and surround themselves with people of their own kin.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anything involving women..

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The man decides to jump off the bridge and decides to make one last phone call. "Hello, Jane, this is Doug. I just wanted to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you." Person on the phone says "This is not Jane, this is Joe." "Oh, hi, Joe. Could you just tell your wife what I said. Bye." The man continues to jump down the bridge and swims with his beautiful girlfriend. They all had a great day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops