Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

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Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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What's orange and not an orange? An orange.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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Q: What does a Jedi say when another Jedi farts? A: Who sabered the cheese?

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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c:

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What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

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-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? a stick

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A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Roses are Expensive. Violets are Gay. Poems are for pussies... Have a nice day!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops