I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 murdered her little sister

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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Johnny is walking around school when he sees a kid crying. He asked the kid what he was crying about and the kid said " I was trying to talk to a girl"

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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what do u call a kid with autism? a autistic s.o.b or Hennon bart

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why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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What do you call a Russian man who is on the moon? A cosmonaut

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Extra extra read all about it dunkin donuts has now been named dunkin pigs..a cops favorite hang out.

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

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How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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