Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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what do you call a man with no legs? An ambulance as he seem to be bleeding very heavily.

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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A black guy walks up to the cash register at a gas station with his hands in his pockets... He pulls out a 5 dollar bill and buys a pack of gum.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

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why did the window washer lose his job. because he fell off and died.

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Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

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What do you call the child of a black male and an asian female? A child of mixed ethnicities.

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Oh," the boy says. "Well BUENOS DIAS to you too!!!

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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Life

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

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What did the slave say to its master? Nothing meanwhile he and his family had terminal cancer and were worked without pay for 20 years before dying fro, multiple cases of AIDS and infections within thier lungs and mouths.

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why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

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why did the black man go to jail why he raped your mom

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what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

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Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

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Why did the girl get her hair cut off? Because she had cancer

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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