Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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Why is there such a big box because there is some writing down here :)

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

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Whats the deal with airline food? I dont know, the cost is included in the plane ticket

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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What's worse than finding a dead fly in your soup? Finding your soup in a dead fly

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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The indistinguishable bug corrupts a bond arrow.

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What do you call a Mentally Challenged Black Man? Whatever Name his parent(s) Gave him at birth.

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there was a turkey sandwhich..... a ham sandwhich.... and a bologna sandwhich..... they had a short conversation before they were eatin by a fat kid

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple that got hit by a bus.

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Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven beat and raped Six when he was child multiple times, and Seven threatened to kill Six if he told anyone.

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting anal raped twice

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Why did the blonde ask the doctor if she should get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anal surgery is the only solution.

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops