why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

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What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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What kind of toy do you give to a dead baby? A death rattle.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am couler-blind, and poetry is gay

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: Why couldnt the kid feel his legs A: He had no arms

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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i dont care if you rate me or not

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

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what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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knock knock? who's there? a guy..... so the man open's the door and the guy clutching a knife stabs repeatedly at his chest killing him and drags his body down into his cellar locking him away from the open world. by Mad James

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Q: What do you get when you throw a piece of bread in the oven? A: 6 million Jews

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im typkiking wifrh myv troes. Sorry, i was typing with my toes.

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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