I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

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How do you fit four elephants in a car ? Two in the front and two in the back

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Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

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What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

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I like cheese. You like cheese. Have a nice day.

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How to you stop the world from ending? You dont the world has been destroyed 5 times over again before and it will most likely happen to us one day.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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You know what it means when a priest lays his watch down on a podium? Absolutely nothing

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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How do you make a blonde stupid as hell. Give birth to it

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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How scoops of ice cream does a n*gger get? 0.

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A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten upon and hung, as this is the 50s.

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because six is a numerophobe.

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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What happen? Idk...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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