Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

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Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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what did the gay guy get for his birthday aids

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Oh

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Lame Anti Jokes.

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No, I still have to make sense of some facts bits and pieces here, and thinking is pretty much the only thing I can do at this moment, so why would my doppelganger wannabe call me from her mothers place?

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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