Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

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hahah there are so funny that they are so funny that they are so litteral that i make my self make other people laugh so that they poop

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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When I eat Mi Familia Mexica food, it burns when I go to the bathroom. Is that bad?

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

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Roses are red vielots are blue but they aren't as sweet as you.Can you be my Valentine ny choclate cupcake will you me my choclate

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Joke

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People...

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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I was playing Black Ops online, my wife turned it off in the middle of the game....I killed her

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 8 year old in my trunk

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I hate blackniggers

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Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

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Siete inglesi quindi non sapete nemmeno cosa c'è scritto ? Succhiacapre che non siete altro.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops