A- knock knock B- whose there? A- Chuck Norris B- chuck norris who? A- are you retarded?

Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

Why didn't the girl paint her nails white? Because in this society, that would be considered racist.

What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

About the bible, I did not know, but I can sense I calculate it the same way I make our followers believe that I can tell what catchphra they will get. Your mind is numb but calm, it will remain there until we meet again. I am afraid of saying this, but I wont let fear get to me just yet, your mother told me, she regrets her actions in life, and wants me to tell you that she is watching over you in death, and hopes you will one day forgive her, she tells me that there is a heaven, but only those that can admit their mistakes, agonize over the pain of their actions, until they can forgive themselves for their misdeeds. She says she can wait, but I sense she is doing it because she feels undeserving, which again means that you are not ready, its like the butterfly effect, all things spiritual and on this plane are connected. Take your time, I know you literally cant forgive her yet, because that would not be enough for her to forgive herself now, humans dead or alive, cannot be truly free, until they let go of what hurts them, I will change that within you, so you can forgive her and break the limits in your mind, so you can stop feeling sad for being rightfully angry at someone you love. I just need more energy, more time, and belief in myself, something that requires more energy than it should to keep going, its the balance and connection between things, something I cannot change at the present moment, even if I did my best. Ill see you around dear friend.

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

A mexican man killed a black man yesterday. It had nothing to do with his race, he just had a very rough childhood and wasn't taught moral values.

Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

A blind man and his dog walk into a store, the man lifts up the dog and begins to spin around. When questioned about his activity the man replies, "I'm just looking around"

Why didn't the Mexican kid go to school? Because he was sick.

Im Harold Camping.... and i enjoy scaring the shit out of you

A Man Walks Into A Bar. He's Immediately Rushed To The Hospital.

What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

A horse didn't walk into a bar. The door wasn't big enough

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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