There once was a man from Peru. He dreamt he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright, In the middle of the night, To find a man had murdered his wife and children.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

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why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

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Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

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An American man stopped me the other day and asked for the time, I looked at my watch and said: 5 o'clock.

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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Hey Shea

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What would Guy and Hemech's reactions be if they saw this joke up? They would see it from the newest jokes

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Why would you ever buy an antijoke book? BECAUSE ANTIJOKES ARE F***ING AWESOME!!!

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TIMMAH!

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What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

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knock knock Labrinth come in

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Why was the mom crying? Her son was found in the oven.

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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Q:What do you call Black Jesus ? A:Black Jesus a.w. j.p.

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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