Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

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Together we can get theist likes on anti-jokes :)

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? Seven brutally abused and raped 6 as a child.

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

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One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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What do Ethiopians do for dinner? Starve.

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A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

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yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

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Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

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How many women does it take to drive a car? One. She had a sex change.

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its my money!, but i dont need it right away

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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