What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

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What's worse than finding a bone in your boneless chicken meal? Going home to find your entire family brutally murdered.

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding A Duck in your apple! What is worse than finding a duck in your apple? Finding a racist in your apple! Whats worse than finding a racist in your apple? DEATH

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civil rights

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So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

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What is so bad about a black jew. They have to sit in the back of the gas chamber

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

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My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

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Butt poop.

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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Knock, Knock Come in

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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