how do you get all the people in ireland out of their homes? roll a potato down the road. how do you find the richest person in ireland? you find the one who got the patato

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

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Q. Where do you find Indonesia A. On a map

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Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four in the seats, twenty six in the ash tray, and thirty in the gas chamber.

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whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

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did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

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The Sentence Below Is True The Sentence Above Is False

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What do you call 12 black doctors in a dark room? 12 black doctors in a dark room.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Knock knock Who's there? No Who is over there

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Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

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Knock Knock Yes?

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How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

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What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

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learn the ropes?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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