What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

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Why Russians ride bears? Because god hate bears

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how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? with a blender. how do you get them back out of the bowl? with tortila chips.

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Did you hear about the man with 3 balls? He liked tennis

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

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Vagina jokes aren't funny, period.

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why did the chicken cross the road? -----it didnt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was playing Pokemon Go.

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Black...

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What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

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Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

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Catholicism.

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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Whats the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't pick up the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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What's bue and sticky? -A blue stick.

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What did the toaster say to the raisin? Nothing. The toaster was mute and the raisin had lost his hearing in a terrible full-contact origami accident.

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Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops