A woman walked into the doctors office with a black eye. The doctor asked: How did you get that? The woman said: I fell.

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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What's worse than not finding your true love in high school? Dying

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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A Native American walks into a bar. The bartender notes that this is statistically unlikely because Native Americans are part of a small minority in the local area, but is accepting of all people so still serves him a drink.

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

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Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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Why did the black person cross the road? Because the street light turned green

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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What do you call a black pilot? A niigger

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Why can't the boy ride his bike to school? It has no wheels.

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A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

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If a little boy teleported to mars how fast would he get there? Little boys are incapable of breaking down their molecular structure in order to send their individual particles faster than the speed of light in any given direction. Thus this question is illogical and can not be answered.

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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What is it called when a whole bunch of black people run down a hill? A race.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? ..He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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