Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

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Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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whats long and black on a black guy slavery

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

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Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

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Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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Cancer. Super Cancer.

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How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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