There was a chicken. It squarked.

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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Why did the big refrigerator fall down the cheese Because i licked my own ear and it got scared and cheese for no raiSOnsD

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops