Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

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Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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