A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: You're not my dad!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHA PENIS

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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Did you know that onions is the only food that makes you cry? Oh? Really? Positive. what if I threw a coconut at you're face. ...

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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noah is a scrub jungle

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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Here's a joke The Holocaust.

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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copy me and i will kill you

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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