Why was the priest lying still? Because his son shot him

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An Italian leaves the mofia

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What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

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A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You... and you just lost the game. -Eka

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a rock at it

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Is your refridgerator running? because if its not, you should probably have it looked at by a repair man,

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yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

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What do you call a puppy in alaska? A cold PUPPY!!!!!

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE?!?

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and 1000 dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops