What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

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You come home and find your family dead. What do you do? Take a picture, post it on facebook

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So when I came home from work the other day, I saw tha my dog was foaming at the moth, so I took him to the vet It turns out that my dog didn't have a thing for marshmallows but had rabies instead and was promptly put down.

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How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

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Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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This is sparta No this is patrick

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Q; what did the gangster say after he and his gang robbed a bank? A;Hey boys lets go drink some soy milk (After that his gang killed him) but the moral of the story is to not rob banks or take drugs

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What's purple and tastes like grapes? Grapes

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What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

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So there is two clowns. Pickle and Jim. If you were asked who was funnier, you would probably say pickle. Well you would be wrong. It's Jim.

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Why was the girl crying on the busy street? She was naked.

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Why did the blond woman sell her water skis? She was in a horrible accident and will never walk again.

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Q: Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? A: Neither did she...

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why such the long face?" the horse is now crying in tears because the bartender made him. by Brennan pickrell

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what do you call someone with one arm? Handicapped.

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Whats faster than a black man running away from the cops? The speed of light.

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so a jew walks into a bar and leaves at 9:00 becuase he has work in the morning.

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a creepy movie, and it gave Six nightmares.

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Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

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How do you disprove feminism? This is how I disprove feminism. I go up to a feminist and ask her, 'If there are penises, then why are there women?' I have never met a feminist who can say anything in response to my logic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family attempted to cross the road approximately 30 seconds earlier and were immediately struck by a moving vehicle traveling at 45 miles per hour. He crossed the road to try to comfort his family while they took their final breathes of life. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a man that had recently been laid off from his union job and came down with a disease that is considered uncurable by modern science.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops