How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

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Yesterday I was diagnosed with Depression... It made me sad.

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

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what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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A man comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with his next-door neighbor. Furious, he shouts 'What's the meaning of this?!' And his wife answers 'A pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced'.

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What is worse than a person eating cereal? A black person eating white children.

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What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

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What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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What do you call an asian woman with one leg? By her name.

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My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

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how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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