What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

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Why did the boy die? He had cancer.

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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Is J.P. dumb? Yes

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What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

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Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

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why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite joke? A. Nothing, because he cant hear.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

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Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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.sdrawkcab siht gnidaer era ouy ,siht daer nac ouy fI

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What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

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TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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Where did the kittens go on their class filed trip? Nowhere, animals are not permitted to enter a museum unless they are eye seeing dogs helping a person who lacks vision.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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