Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

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A boy tells his teacher, "I want to be like hitler when I grow up and kill all the jews and one clown." The teacher replies, "Why the clown?" The boy says, "See no one cares about the jews."

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Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

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religion

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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UP

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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Wy did the man fall? A tree fell on his legs!

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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luke moore cant pull it back

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josh Roberts you speccy CUNT

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4 gay guys walk into a bar but there is only one bar stool, where do they sit? They go to a different bar

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jwe

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

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There's a fine line between hyphenated words

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Bags of delicious poop.

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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