Why are Americans so fat? Poor diet and lack of exercise.

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Hollocaust. What's worse than the Hollocaust? 3 bee stings.

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Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

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Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

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What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

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Q. How did the blind man savvier from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died.

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Whats up with your nan? Copious amounts of lsd

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it lost Consciousness.

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Knock Knock WHO'S THERE?????!!! y u mad? u have been knocking at the doors for 5 hours now, mom

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children burning

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he's stupid.

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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What Did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

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Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

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What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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Knock Knock Who's There? It's Me. Oh, OK. Come On In.

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you lose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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