A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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This comment has been removed for too many average votes.

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Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

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Have you seen the painting by Stevie Wonder? It's a Monet and this museum's most prized piece. Just kindly ask Mr. Wonder to step aside a bit.

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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There are two monkeys sittingn a bathtub. The first one says, "Scratch my back Mack." The second one says, "That's okay Joe I've got a radio of my own." (laugh like you think it is funny)

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What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender was incredibly biased towards religion and had the rabbi removed.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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