How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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meh

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

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what can you give to a millionaire to make him happy? sex

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*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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Hey. I have to ask you a serious question. Okay. what? You can only answer with yes or no. Okay what is it? Do your parents know your gay? .....

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What do you call Mary in a wheelchair ... virgin mobile

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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A French man gets into a fight

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Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

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why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

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Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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