How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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Who wants pizza crusts?

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What is a chair?

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

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Justin Bieber.

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Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

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Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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who ever is reading this....

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Yo mamas so fat she's over weight

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Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

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Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

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Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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Can I ask you a question? You just did

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How many kids with Asperger's does it take to change a light bulb? Tyrannosaurus lived in the Cretaceous Period.

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Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

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Q: What do you do when you meet someone new? A: You don`t know and expect me to do so? Get a life!

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What did the white teen say to the black man? Sup nigga. What then followed? A savage beating at which the teen did not survive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops