two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If you're having Kony problems, I feel bad for you son. He's stolen 99 kids and your posters saved none.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Kyle is consistently sexually harassed by a woman while at work. Everything is fine.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I was Born ready I was born naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

2 guys are on a scaffolding. One of them says to the other "If you fall from here, theres a high probability you will die"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Shane cool... Because he was a cool bean.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the black guy eat KFC? Cause he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You see how lame this is?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops