A blonde girl walks into a car.

What a person such as you would say. Anyway, did you notice how I started by emulating your way of typing, spelling, spacing and so on?

A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

Guess what I did to the clown I hit it with an axe

Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I am a dog

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

Why did 3 blacks guys start watching the first Star Wars movie on Saturday night? They finished the Back to the Future movies on Friday.

Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...