Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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