Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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What do you call a black man from Germany? A Germ.

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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Why did the Kek Kick Ben? Cause Ben kicked Kek's Kik. KEKEKEK

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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?"what's up" "A preposition"

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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