whats yellow sticky and smelly? I dont know i was asking you

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Nickelback

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Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

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What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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Women's rights

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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What do you call a black man? Jamal

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What do you call a girl who got raped by ger dad? Casey Anthont

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Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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The mailman saw little Johnny sitting on the side of the street with an old coffee can Mailman: What do you have in that can there? Johnny: dog shit Mailman: what the fuck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

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What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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Person 1: What did the narwhal say to the other narwhal. Person 2: I don't know... What? Person 1: How am I supposed to know? Shortly after a serious argument breaks out.

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A man walks into a bar. Another man walks into a bar.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted to be cool, But I look like you

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hello. We would like to talk about Jesus with you.

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Whats sad about 4 black guys in a cadillac driving over a cliff? A cadillac seats 5

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Where is Madeline McCann? 6 Feet under....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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