Why did the man climb the mountain? Because he lacked excitement in his life.

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If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

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So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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A white man, a black man, and a mexican were stranded in a giant dessert, They were quick to notice the spelling error and ate happily for a few days

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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Someone listens to an anti joke. They laugh.

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What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

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What goes good with coca cola? Thirst

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Ouch.

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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No. Yes.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? God. God Who? ::Apocalypse follows::

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

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Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

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What is dangerous when eaten? My grandmother's cooking?

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What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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