What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Why was the kid underwater? He hit a rock.

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want to go home? yea

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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three men walked into a bar, can't believe know one noticed it.

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Barack Obama

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whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

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Why do Africans live in slums Because they have aids

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Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

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What's the most wonderful time of the year? When your wife dies.

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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What do chicken babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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wanna hear a joke. i do to

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what do you call a cat that talks a talking cat

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Animal control.

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what's worse then droping your phone. 9/11 having sex with the holocaust

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abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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why did the bear go into the woods to get shot

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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