How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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h

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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