Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

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come along children

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What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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Mmmm, donuts

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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roses are black violets are gray im color blind

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A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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