Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

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women's rights

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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Thumbs this up

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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what makes white men feel embarrassed and and ashamed? when they find out their girllfriend has been sleeping with a black man.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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A Jew returns change.

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

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so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

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Why was the boy hot? Because he was stuck in an oven.

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In Soviet Russia you drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up.

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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alcoholism kills

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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