Q:Why did the dog jump over the fence A:Because he could

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3 strangers were locked in a dark room they turned the light on, unlocked the door and proceeded with their day.

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A man cries out to god.. and god doesn't answer.

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Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

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How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

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Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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So its 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar....I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ends up getting nuked.

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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