Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

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Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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i like pie

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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You might be redneck if you are... Indian

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BUT HWY?

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u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

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What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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Why? Because racecar.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops