Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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Ted Haggard.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

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whats forever alone me

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

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A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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Sarah Palin

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Lame Anti Jokes.

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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