A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

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I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

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Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

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What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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What do you call a fat priest? Obese

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

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Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Black people stink of shite!

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Why was the blonde confused? Because she had 10 second memory loss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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