Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

There was once a guy who was so crazy...he was sectioned.

What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

What does samios search on google? Shemale gey big t.it lactating big c.ock An.al tearing Ana.l dilation school girl rape compilation

Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

Q: Where is the One Piece? A: My girlfriend is wearing it.

Why was the man so hungry? Because he hadn't eaten in days.

What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

Why did the man wipe his bum with a sweat-shirt? Because they were all out of toilet paper

What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

Why didnt your daughter come home? The door was locked

What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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