Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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